bryan@zenitivity.com

Living Happy – We Live Happily Ever After

Living Happy

Living Happy – We Live Happily Ever After.

You’ve heard me say it before and I can tell you for a fact that you will hear it many times throughout the many articles we have here at zenitivity.com, but in today’s world with live such hectic, busy and complex lifestyles always searching for that true happiness.

We are going to start looking at the some of the ways we can live happily ever after, to do this we must start to look at our thoughts, behaviours and feelings in a safe open-mindedly stress free location, so pop the kettle on, brew a cuppa in your favourite mug and find your safe comfy place.Favourite Mug

Finding your happy can be complicated at the best of times, we have so many neurological links in our heads its hard to understand what makes us happy. The trouble we have is that, things never seem to be as clear cut as being happy or sad.

Most of the time our common-sense kicks in when we want to feel happy, but there are so many variables that affects our moods. Our habits, our relationships, and the surroundings we find ourselves in.

Here’s a small situation to run pass you… Have you ever had one of those days where you feel on top of the world one moment and the next second you’ve spiralled out of control and fallen into a big pit of unhappiness and depression? Yes! I thought so. Believe it or not your brain is sparking all those neurological connections like crazy. How does this happen? Something must contribute to this behaviour?

Our habits, our relationships, and the surroundings that become us over the years are always influencing us, making the moments above all to familiar and relatable to our lives. We will all have these moments of unhappiness, so it’s important to recognise and accept that we can’t all be happy all of the time. We will all experience sadness, the hurt and pain of many negative emotions along our journey of life.

Yet I do have some good news. The good news is because we can’t be happy all the time, it just gives us even more appreciation and gratitude when the positive happy emotions and moments come along. What I mean is that we will always have bad times but with a few little improvements to the way we think and feel we can all reduce the bad times.

How to Fulfil Your Life? or Make it a Little Happier.

You can improve all the areas of your life. Your relationship with friends, family and yourself. Many opportunities will arise to fulfil and improve the happiness you are looking for. As we get older, we tend to stick with the same old habits that we all fill comfortable with and a lot of the time many of these habits can become very destructive and unhelpful when looking for happiness. The truth is that we end up doing the same thing time and time again. Which leads us living the same lives we have always lived wondering where all the happiness has gone.

I’ve been there and I’m sure you have too, the feeling you are playing the same broken record, repeatedly playing the same song, fortunately a massive chunk of our happiness is made up from our emotional wellbeing, not whether today will be a good day or a bad day but whether or not we lean towards being buoyant, inquisitive and optimistic.

Work Hard, Stay Humble

You may not think that your personality or temperament fit with the above characteristics and feel that you have no control over your emotional wellbeing, but with the right awareness and motivation it is completely possible to change your emotional attitude and environment.

Just taking the time to be polite and helpful can have a massive impact on your emotional wellbeing. I find it helpful to have good vibe plaques up and about the house, just something I can look at if I’m feeling a little unhappy.

Rules for a Better Life.

Be Kind and Smile Often – this is my favourite and you will find it at the bottom of every article, comment or message I post, it’s brilliant, simple yet effective and touches my spiritual wellbeing every time I see and say it to myself and others.

Work Hard – really… I hear you say. This could mean anything you want though, work hard at work, work hard on your relationships, friends and family, work hard on yourself, work hard on your hobbies, wellbeing, spiritual connection, desire to change. What ever you want to work on don’t go into it half heartily give it your full commitment and work hard at it.

Stay Humble – At times we all like to show off what we have with pride and explosive ego’s. With this getting in the way it certainly feels extremely hard to stay humble but staying humble in many situations can give us an overwhelming feeling of calm. As hard as it may feel, try to stay humble.

Expect a Little, give a Lot – I believe every parent has this rule for life down to a tee, my wife and I certainly found the joy with this rule when bringing our four children into the world. As parents we give so much to our children just to see a smile on their faces. Try not to feel the happiness when you give so much just to see that smile, or that hug from someone in your life. I bet you can’t.

Love Always

Be Thankful – There’s no arguing with this rule, be thankful for every moment, every memory, every experience from something as little as watching the clouds float by on a summer’s day to working so hard and giving so much to see that smile.

Have Fun, Laugh More – Having fun and laughing is an automatic fix to any negative situation. Here’s a little trick of mine when I’m feeling down. Acknowledge your sad mood, then think about a happy memory making sure you can hear and feel the laughter in it, now think of your sad mood at the same time as your happy memory…. You can’t it’s impossible. How much better do you feel now. Keep the fun and laughter with you always.

Love Always – With all the above rules tucked under your belt you will be hard pushed not to show the love you have for yourself, friends and family, you will surly clarify the happiness within your life.

 

Finding the Flow, Be in the Zone, I’m on a Roll.

Finding your flowHave you ever been so involved in what you are doing you’ve totally lost track of time, for instance imagine you have just had your first tea-break at work, say around 10:30, come back to your place of work and just cracked on with your job role.

Tick, tick, tick…

It only feels as if you have just sat down and you jump because the lunch bell rings. How many times have you looked up and either heard someone else or yourself turn around and say… Holy cow where has the time gone?

Well this is known as finding your flow. In my current job role I have this overwhelming time misplacement on a regular basis. A colleague and I currently lead a team of 30 or so carpenters building luxury motor yachts.

Always planning, chasing parts, hitting tight deadlines, dealing with broken tools, supporting, helping and nurturing the team each day, you can see why this happens to us. You might think it’s because we are so busy, but really, it’s because we are both passionate about our job roles, we find our flow, we meet up and set our goals for the day and crack on with it allowing time to fly pass.

Where has all the time gone

Other than the phrase “finding your flow” you may have heard other phrases like, “I’m in the zone” or “I’m on a role”. Whatever you want to call it doesn’t matter you just need to find it.

Finding your flow is a great way to accomplish better happiness throughout your day. Give yourself clear achievable goals to complete and start achieving. You will soon start to control your inner consciousness and produce a spiritual connection with the activities you are doing and your mind within, causing you to be in your zone, when you realise this is happening you will find every thing around you has been a total blank, at this moment in time you quickly snap back to reality and find several hours may have passed without your every noticing.

Remember zoning out is a personal connection within yourself and what works for you may not work for others, but when you find it, keep practicing and start to see how much more joy and happiness your days start to bring.

Share a Hug a Day to Keep the Negativity Away.

Who doesn’t enjoy the embrace of a good old fashion hug? This simple act that humans partake in signals warmth, safety, affection and care. At times a hug may be the only help we need to calm the feelings of rejection, anxiety and even social segregation.

The benefits of a hug contribute to the need of physical contact, something if we go without for a long time can cause us to spiral into the danger zone of rejection, seclusion and self-isolation. When we feel the embrace of a hug our brains release hormones like serotonin and oxytocin.

Give a Hug

Serotonin and oxytocin are just two of the chemicals our brains release to make us feel good. When we hug these hormones are attached to feel-good feelings of security and safety which will have a huge effect on reducing stress, anxiety and rejection.

The benefit both parties involved in a hug are tremendous and you’d be surprised how happy a simple hug will make you feel.

When was the last time you were hugged, remember how happy you felt in that warm safe embrace, now imagine how happy you’d feel giving a hug to make someone else feels what you feel from a hug?

Good Night Sweet Dreams.

One of the most effective ways to have that extra bit of happiness in a relatively short space of time is to get a good night sleep, unfortunately with our lifestyles the way they are these days it can almost become a chore, just another job that we need to fit into our day.

The rule of thumb is that we should shoot for an average of 6-8 hours of sleep a night. Our bodies go through several stages of sleep throughout the night, REM SLEEP, LIGHT SLEEP and DEEP SLEEP, if we don’t get a certain amount of sleep in each stage we are subjecting ourselves to fall prey to symptoms of forgetfulness, become prone to more accidents, lowering our sex drives, dumbing down, depression, anxiety and if we’re not careful it can and will lead to more serious health problems.

Build yourself a solid plan of action to regain control over your sleep habits, formulate your very own shut-down routine.

Before going to sleep, lay in bed and focus your mind on how tomorrow a happy day will be regardless of what happened today. Remember today has gone and will never come back, so there’s no point dwelling on it.

Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing, with each excel of breath feel a part of your body relax and become heavy sinking softly into your bed. I start with my feet, then legs, thighs, lower back, upper back, hands, arms, neck and then finally my head. Each time remembering to appreciate the comfort of your bed as each part of your body releases the day ready for bright new start the next morning.

This is one of my routine’s, but here are many wind-down routines to follow with a quick search online. With an all-round, well-balanced sleep pattern, you will improve your wellbeing a considerable amount in a fairly short time. To help even more here are just some of the activities you should consider not doing before bed.

Good Night Sweet Dreams

Going to bed and waking up at different times through the week and at weekends, if you go to bed and wake the same time every day of the week you are training your body and regaining control over your sleep patterns.

Try to avoid drinks with caffeine in or if your prone to late night toilet visits any fluids within 3 hours of going to bed.

Don’t eat or snack to close to bedtime, this will activate your digestive system making your body work through the night leaving you to feel groggy upon waking.

Watching television before going to sleep will keep the mind on high alert rather than in a tranquil, calm and peaceful state.

Concluding Practice Makes Happiness.

To find our happiness we really need to look at ourselves, our inner mind and the connections we have with other around us. Yes, our lives can become complicated, but we should always make time to feel the happiness.

Be kind to yourself and make your own rules for a better way, find what you are looking for with simple mindset changes to make you and others around you feel better, be thankful for everything, laugh and have more fun.

We’re not on this planet just to work all the hours under the sun. We make our own destinies finding our flow alone the way. Think with a smile, act with kindness and offer that hug if its needed, rest up well, remember today has already finish and tomorrow is a new happier day.

 

Be kind and smile often

 

 

 

Photos by  Alex Block – Djim Loic –  Mario Ibrahimi –  Manasvita S –  Tyler Nix –  John Moeses Bauan –  Kate Stone Matheson –  Scott Broome

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